Scottish men make me smile.
No, not the young, attractive (if there were any), smart men... the really old, beer bellied men with accents so thick they can't even understand them selves.
On our way to our picturesque, charming, wonderful and dainty castle of a hotel country club the Delmahoy Kelsey and I were able to have our first experience with these adorable men. Our Taxi driver, Tommy, was one of the greatest men I have met in my short twenty years here on earth. Whilst driving us along the breathtaking countryside roads we asked Tommy about his life here in Scotland. He had no problem taking the reigns from there. Tommy told us all about the cat hotel his wife and him own, his past endeavors of being the number one persian cat breeder in the world, his 18 years of being a taxi driver, his plan to retire in two weeks time and my favorite, his shetland pony named Honey. Kelsey and I had to ask him again and again what kind of pony Honey was. Not because we couldn't understand him but because when he said shetland it came out more like SHITland pony named honay. He emphasized the SHITland part so much we couldn't help but have a good laugh. Aye, my SHITland pony named Honay, she is the devil.... what a beautiful phrase. Tommy loved us as much as we loved him. I don't think cab drivers get to talk about them selves very often so when we continued probing he was thrilled. By the end of our journey we were giving hugs goodbye and wiping tears. No not really, but he did give us his home number and told us to call him and his wife Carol. He wanted to take us horseback riding if we had enough time. He said Carol would just love so much for us to come up, I believe him. Personally I think Kelsey and I would have had enjoyed it more than her though. Sadly we didn't have enough time to fit in Tommy and Carol.
Yes. we like photo shoots. Now on with the story of Scotland.
Our castle we stayed in was about thirty minutes out side the city limits. Although this was unintended it worked out really well. It was so nice to be able to get out of the city for a while and feel the unruffled peace of the earth. We took a bus in and out of the city each morning and night. To get to the bus we had a half mile walk or so down the golf course lane. Who could even complain? The beauty this place held in its little pinky was more beauty then I have ever seen before. The cool, dewy evening walk made me feel as if I were swimming in a cucumber. In other words it was really relaxing and detoxifying for my body, soul and mind. The walk was laced with the golf course on either side, billowy trees, ponds and pastures of horses broke the cycle every now and then. The cobble stone road and its barely lit path added to this blessed experience. I was unaware when I booked the hotel that you had to sign a waver saying you are 65 or older and were obsessed with golf and tea. It worked out fine though, they still let Kelsey and I join them every morning for breakfast bright and early. Kelsey and I would pretty much still be sleeping when we made it down to breakfast to be greeted by all our mature friends who seemed to have been up for hours. They would say "Gooooood morning girls" and we would fallow with a "hiiiii" which fallowed with them pointing out the fact that they knew we were Americans because when they said good morning we responded with a hi... who knew that was an American trademark! At the end of every breakfast we would ever so carefully sneak food into Kelsey's oversized bag. We would fill the bag with apples and various fruits but best of all we would steel loaves of bread and assorted muffins. I was once caught by the wrinkly couple that sat behind us. Although they were cool enough not to rat us out they did have a pretty good pity laugh at us. I can't help my breakfast food stealing addictions though, it is just how I was raised. I promise I come by it honestly.
Our first night taking the bus back to the hotel we were not aware that you have to push the "let-me-off-the-bus-button" if where you are getting off at is an actual stop. It didn't take us long to figure out though. As we sat on the top of the double decker bus eating kit-kat bars and deriotos chips we saw the sign for the Delmahoy slip right through our fingers. Afraid to push the big red button we decided to run down the stairs of the moving bus and explain to the not so happy scottish man what we had just witnessed. "Um, we, we, were supposed to, I think you missed a stop, we need...", about a 4 or 5 minutes later he stops the big, bulky bus and opens the door and hustles us along. If I may please allow me to give you a mental image of where exactly he drops us off at 12:30 at night. Start by closing your eyes, imagine you are on a 2 lane highway with traffic going in the direction you are not accustomed too, there is no sidewalk, no lights, no moon but plenty of dew in the air and clouds hovering in the sky. On one side of the highway there is a mangled forrest of droopy trees where in the previous days you have seen more than one homeless person loitering on the other there is a short wall made of thick stone with visible rats crawling in every which direction, on the other side of the squat wall there are fields of some sort of tall, bladed plants and farm houses every so often. What side do you chose to walk your fearful few miles on? It was a hard decision, even more so after a drunk man got of the bus with us and proceeded to tell us that 1. he was drunk, 2. the cops say it isn't safe to walk this road at night and 3. he would offer to give us a ride but he is drunk... where he went I will never know. Now that you have the proper setting you can imagine vividly kelsey and I walking down the stumpy wall side. We huddled together and pretended like we weren't scared, after all we were in the middle of no where, there was nothing to fear but the rats and the crazy cars zipping by. After a few minutes of walking a lightbulb instantaneously went off in both our little heads; we had flashlights. Early that night we had gone on a ghost tour of the city (might possibly be another factor as to why we are so scared). On this tour the gave us mini winding flashlights. The kind you put on your key chain that have a light that is less than that of your cell phone and you have to wind with two squished fingers the entire time, yes, one of those. It was better than nothing though and we were so grateful to have them, we even went as far to say that this is just proof that everything happens for a reason. We were meant to go on that ghost tour! Are you scared yet? If not, that is okay because it intensifies. I was winding my baby light so ferociously the little spinner flew off into the bushes. We were down to one modest light and many steps to go. Kay, don't be scared anymore, we made it all the way back to our chambers with out any problems!
A new story
The first day we were in the lush lands of Scotland we were supposed to meet up with the group at their hostel (which if I may say was quite an entertaining place) at 10 and from there head to the castle and continue on with the days adventures. Well, as you probably know by know Kelsey and I have no trouble getting our selves into adventures, this time now no exception. Because we took a taxi (thanks Tommy) to the Delmahoy the first night we weren't exactly sure how long the bus would take us, we also were uninformed of the mile walk to the bus. We wanted to take the 9:30 or 9:45 bus into the city and impress everyone with our punctual skills. Due to our lack of knowledge we ended up getting on the bust at 10, the very time we were supposed to meet the group. In our cute little brains we thought there was no way the group would wait that long for us to leave to the castle, especially since we knew that was our first destination. We decided that it would be better to meet the group at the castle since we would all be arriving around the same time. However, despite our best efforts to find them they were no where to be found. We hadn't anticipated that it would be such a challenging task to find one drunk man with a gray curly pony tail and a tie dye shirt surrounded by 8 or so all American youth. Our hearts were toyed with many of times as we would spot "a rick" from afar only to be unpleasantly greeted with a woman. Yes, every woman there looked like "a rick". Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my self wishing to find a drunk pony tailed man at a castle in Scotland. But there I was, doing just that. The same ten workers began to notice us and our puzzled faces. We stopped and chatted with them many of times and asked them to be on the look out for rick who we described in great detail. After we had seen and experienced all the great and marvelous wonders of the castle, which was in all honesty just a very expensive museum we decided to exhaust our efforts and take a sit outside the castle wall.
I wish I had a picture of Kelsey and I sprawled on the side of the castle wall as hundreds of people entered the over priced replica of a castle. Our faces dripping with sweat and our minds were stumped on what action to take next. We pulled out a loaf of bread that we had brilliantly placed in the bag at breakfast. Tearing the uncut loaf with our hands and eating it as if it were our saving grace. As calories entered our bodies and our energy was restored we decided to leave the castle and do our own thing for the day. We walked about 500 feet and guess who was there to great us, the real Rick. He explained that two precious girls in our group had forgotten to set their alarm causing a domino affect on the sequence of events planned for the day. He also told us that it was we didn't have to pay the 15 pounds to get in but that we could entire this so called castle with our British Heritage pass. After a wee bit of a chat with rick and the group we decided it was best after all to do our own activities the rest of the day. There was no way either of us was going to spend another 3 hours in the blazing heat repeating our well trampled steps. The castle doesn't do any sort of refund or exchanging which could have been disappointing if it weren't for the fact that Kelsey and I are just so darn adorable. They felt in their hearts our sorrow for not using the British Heritage pass and agreed to give us back our money in full. Making this adventure so much more delightful!
One night Lindsey and Gavin came up to our hotel with us to have dinner and play with all the amenities the country club had to offer. We splashed around in the pool, basked quietly in the dark steam room and told our greatest fears in the inferred sauna.
The next day we were able to meet as a group, on time, and head to a petite, grassy town called Sterling. Being the planner girl I am I was well aware of the monuments and attractions to see with my short time in Sterling. I wasn't to worried about not being able to squeeze in all that I wanted to do since one of the main attractions on the map was parking. Yes, this town was little. :) Then again there was a really old church and cemetery that we just HAD to see, somehow it was supposed to differ from the other thousand we have seen in every other city. I am not complaining though, it was amazing. We walked through neighborhoods and saw real peoples lives. We saw clothes lines with swaying cotton dresses pined to them, families playing in their yards and couples doing yard work together. I loved it! I love stuff like that, just walking and seeing how other people live so similarly and yet so differently to me.
When we got to the church I was not disappointed at what I saw it was at the end of a residential street that backed up to endless fields and pastures. A perfect spot for some super great photos.
This is on a wall that divided the church from a pasture of cows. All of you know that the cows fascinated me more then the church. I happened to not be alone in this thought. Linds, Kels and Gav all took the initiative to go explore this pasture. After playing on the wall and taking fun pictures it was time for me to hop down, I sat on my ever growing bum and jumped off because I thought it was very possible that if I tried to jump all the bones in my legs would crumble and I would die. This great idea of the slide turned out to be one of the worst! Apparently I was out of the loop in knowing that it is common knowledge for Scotland to have some ludicrous bush called stinging nettle. This little gem of a bush sends shards of fire like pain into the area it touches, for me this area happened to be my poor tush.
I had no idea what was happening to my bum bum when I slowly slid off that wall of lying beauty. It felt like a volcano cactus had gone up into my cheeky. I had no other choice but to remove my pants and hop in circles as I tried to look at the battle wounds.
I had clearly lost this battle. I had huge welts on my bum and a pain that is so unique I am not sure how to describe it. At least I wasn't alone in my pain, Susannah slightly brushed up against a plant and was able to slightly relate to my pain. I almost feel like I didn't get the raw end of the deal though, at the same time I am jumping in circles Kelsey was scraping cow poop of her keds sneaker... I honestly might take the nettle over poop
So off we went to our next destination. The wallace monument. I was extremely unprepared for that which laid ahead of me. A seven mile hike up a literal mountain was successfully made in flip flops and jeans. I am not ashamed to admit I had a few complaining moments. Not one soul in the group was prepared for what Scotland had in store for them. We all packed snow jackets and parkas with the understanding we were venturing into a frozen tundra. How wrong were we! Scotland is very likely the hottest place I have visited on this earth. I do know though that this was weekend set the record heat for like seventy-five years or something though. Anyways, the hike was hard, but needed. The many pastries I have been gorging in have found a home on my hip... very sad.
Seeing the view from the top made each and every dirt-filling-my-shoe-step worth it. It really was amazing. There was even a nice breeze to great us. A breeze and an old man dressed in period costume to give us a funny little presentation about Wallace the Great.
I wish that this picture could show how on the edge we really are. People warned us that our death could be a slip away as if we weren't well aware of that our selves. I guess I should be grateful strangers are concerned about my life.
On our last day we took a bus to the beach!! It was so fantastic. It is funny how I am here on europe technically on vacation and yet I find my self thinking of how great a vacation would be... seems a little funny! The beach was so cute, it was a town called portobello. It was full of sun, sand, friends and fashion magazines. How could there be anything better in the world?
I think the one thing that would have been nice was a swimsuit. Yes, this is me in my underwear on the beach in Scotland. Random, I agree. My swimsuit was still soaking wet from swimming the night before and I couldn't quite handle putting on a wet swimsuit, underwear are just like swimsuits right? It is quite possible they even have more coverage! Well, the trip was great, more than great. I loved all of it. There is so much more I could say, so many stories that I laugh at but am not sure would be of any interest to anyone who wasn't present. Who knows though, I might feel inclined to add some more about Scotland tomorrow! I still have weeks up blogging to catch up on but now is not the time! :) time to go make some more memories and have a few more adventures!
love
em
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